Grief can impact us all in very different ways, and it can be even more difficult this time of year. Grief can happen in response to loss of life, as well as to drastic changes to our daily routines and ways of life that usually bring us comfort and a feeling of stability. Needless to say, loss was the theme of my year. And grief doesn’t just come from the loss of a loved one. So many of us are in a post-traumatic stress response due to the state of the world over the past few years. Whatever you are going through, loss in any form will cause emotional distress that rocks our nervous system and can prevent us from enjoying our life and connecting to others in a meaningful manner. As a life coach and an author who writes books on the psychology of happiness and getting unstuck, I’ve learned some things we can do to make it through the difficult times in life. Without a solid self-care practice and daily self-love routine, the emotional pain would have been unbearable. The goal isn’t to push away the pain but to find healing and balance within each phase of our life. Although grief is very personal and looks and feels different across individuals, we can take some self-care steps to feel a bit more balanced and navigate this challenging time with more grace and ease. These are my go-to tips for this time of year: In my book, Return to You: 11 Spiritual Lessons for Unshakable Inner Peace, I share a process for grieving the loss of a loved one and recognizing that everyone is on their own journey. Not everyone will understand what you are experiencing, which is why speaking up, setting boundaries, and sharing your needs with others are important. Many will carry on with traditions and seasonal demands unaware of the pain you feel inside, so pay attention to what you need and nurture yourself. Be honest with yourself about what you can show up for and what feels like too much. And give yourself permission to do things differently this year. Things that keep us from avoiding our feelings include work, people-pleasing, addictions, sex, etc.—anything to avoid the pain of feeling the heaviness of loss. These patterns often mask the pain but will never fully allow us to address and heal it. Make sure you allow yourself time to feel the emotions, in all forms, and be present for them. As you feel them, they will transmute and move through you and be released. Consider making a list of things that help you connect to the moment and feel safe and secure, such as cuddling with a furry friend, spending quality time with your children, or calling that person who’s been on your mind a lot. Mini moments of self-care and reprieve can help aid the process. Be gentle with yourself in this time period, and feel all the layers of loss. You may not have motivation or any focus. Just trust each day, with time, you will return to yourself and rediscover who you are and want to be in this world. Overall, be kind and gentle with yourself and trust the process of life. She’s been named top 100 Women to Watch in wellness by mindbodygreen, alongside Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kris Carr and Gabriel Bernstein, and was listed as of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness by Chicken Soup for The Women’s Soul. She’s been named one of Entrepreneurs Must-Follow Instagram Accounts for Inspiration and Top Facebook Accounts for Daily Motivation by Mind Body Green. Her website Playwiththeworld.com has been names top 75 Personal development websites and top 100 self-help websites by the institute for the Psychology of Eating. She’s an international life coach and author mentor, and a full time world traveler with a home base in Portland, Oregon with her best friend, her Golden Retriever Chance, who she flew to China to Rescue.
