Not only are sex dreams totally normal, but they can also carry valuable information, according to dream interpreter Lauri Loewenberg. Here, we’re rolling through the types of sex dreams people often have, what they could mean, and how to stop having them (only if you want to, of course). In the case of sex dreams, she explains, “The main thing to keep in mind when trying to figure out your sex dream is they’re rarely about a physical union you want but more about a psychological union.” She adds, “If you do actually want to sleep with that person in real life, you already know, and you don’t need a dream to tell you that.” So, have no fear if you’re happily coupled up and still dreaming about sleeping with strangers or your boss. According to Loewenberg, sex in a dream most often represents a desire to connect to some internal aspect of that person, like a trait or behavior, rather than their physical body. “Maybe they’re very muscular, for example,” she says. “If some characteristic or trait really stands out about the person in the dream, that’s what they represent. So, muscles would represent your own ability to be strong, handle tough situations, and muscle through something difficult.” If it’s an ex that you’re glad to be rid of, she adds, having sex with them in a dream could actually be an indication that you’re coming to peace with that relationship and letting it go. Having public sex in a dream, then, could represent a preoccupation with status or recognition. And depending on who you’re sleeping with, you might be seeking recognition for the qualities that person has. The partner in this dream “could be a message from your subconscious that if you unite a certain quality of this person into your life, into your behavior, it will help you cleanse that negativity.” “To the dreaming mind, the kitchen would indicate that you’re cooking up some kind of idea or project that will feed your soul, that will nourish you psychologically, emotionally, perhaps financially.” And your partner in the dream, she explains, is a clue to the quality or behavior you can integrate into yourself in order to get your project moving along. In some cases, this dream could indicate you’re being too hard on yourself in some way, Loewenberg says. It could also mean you want more control in some area of your life (dom) or alternatively, you wish someone else would take control (sub). And of course, it could also mean you’re simply intrigued by the possibility and want to try it in real life. “The best way to make a dream stop is to take action on the message it’s giving you,” she says, adding, “A dream is going to nag you and keep giving you the same message again and again until you listen and take action.” So, if you keep dreaming about your boss, for example, “Then take the message and run with it,” she says. “Start being a boss in your own life. Start taking charge, and the dream will stop.” To figure out the message, remember the main thing you want to do is “ask yourself, in what way do I need to connect with this person?” Loewenberg notes, as well as what it is you admire or respect about them. From there, you can start to embody whatever that quality or trait is.
